i <3 my heart and i want it to be healthy

It has been crazy busy lately between moving house and work. Any efforts at eating well or exercising have totally failed. Instead of devouring chocolate chip cookies, I've been craving carbs. Bread, pizza or beer will do I'm not picky at all. Falling off the wagon and being left 3 miles behind are totally showing. My jeans are tight and my belly jiggles as I go up the stairs of our new two storey house. It is gross. Today is the 3 month countdown date to our wedding. I'm still fat. I'm not sure much will change. Thank god that I've found a potential dress that plays up those curves and makes it look good rather than looking like someone who should have cut back on the carbs!

Last week I went for my echocardiogram and even though I wanted immediate results about the status of my heart and heart murmur, there was only a technician doing the test. I laid on a doctors bed for half an hour as she took multiple ultrasounds of different parts of my heart and the way that it sounded. I have no idea how a normal heart is supposed to look or sound, so I was just in awe and kind of freaked out about seeing my heart and my heart valves beat on screen. I especially liked how my huge boobs got in the way of the bottom of the heart shot, so I had to lift my boob up to get a proper image of my heart. The technician was SO happy when I volunteered to do this since she couldn't get an image whatsoever of my heart with the boob in the way. Awesome! I love being reminded about how huge my boobs are. Once I get to my goal weight and maintain it for a while, they are SO gone!

As I was changing into my clothes, the technician was recording all of my ultrasounds and making notes and asked if I was an athlete. I reluctantly said yes thinking that she was going to tell me that I needed to stop all activity because my heart was about to implode. She said that she could tell from looking at my heart. I was totally shocked and didn't know what to say, but told her that I run a bit. I have no idea what this statement means in terms of my heart murmur or the condition of heart, but it does reiterate the point that exercise is good for you. I may still have jelly belly and a body that I think needs to lose 25lbs, but the inside of my body shows that I'm an athlete (even though right now I'm only competing in the carb triathlon).

The point is that exercise is NECESSARY to being healthy and you don't need to be Heidi Klum on the outside to be healthy on the inside. Ultimately, being healthy on the inside is MUCH more important than fitting into that size 8. This may be hard to remember and believe me I struggle with this all the time, but I would much rather be healthy on the inside and have an "athlete's heart" even if I don't necessarily look like an athlete from the outside.

Anyway, I go for a heart follow up tomorrow morning and fingers crossed that the technician's comments mean that I'm in the clear!